Monday, November 29, 2004

Practice sex responsibly

I was at work when my sister called me and said that she did something really bad yesterday. I started imagining what she could have done and remedies for them - cut class (not bad at all), did drugs (I can handle that), sex without a condom (if no infections involved, could be dealt with), what else? For the longest time she wouldn't tell me and my anxiety kept increasing. Finally she told me that she had kissed a guy. I let out a sigh of relief and replied nothing bad about that. She responded it was bad because the guy liked her and she didn't like him. Now that is terrible.

One has to take responsibility for one's actions, especially when it involves someone else's feelings. I don't have anything against casual sex as long as both participants are on the same page. I've heard different terms to describe various degrees of intimacy.

1. Hook-up buddies - When you just call a person to "hook up" with when you're drunk and horny one night.
2. F- buddies - When you are together for like an entire weekend. So you spend more time together than just "hooking-up." (I heard this term in "Vanilla Sky" and was disgusted at that time. Now I am more open to it.)
3. Friendship with "benefits" - When you are friends and have sex, but you're not in a relationship.

These work as long as neither develops feelings for the other. I learnt this the hard way when a guy I hardly knew "fell in love" with me. I completely freaked out when he sent me this email with the subject "Romancing the stone":

To my Anshu,

It's 3 O' clock in the morning - Wednesday - Can't sleep and I am so
Drunk (Well, this is how I am trying to find peace with myself for the last few days,but it never worked).

This is probably the last letter I am going to write to you, so I
need to say What I have to say;

You know I have been all around the world and I have seen all kid of
people, Places, cultures, wealth , Civil wars and Poverty, etc... And I reckon,the most painful thing anybody can experience in their life time is, loving somebody so much and being ignored by that person like nothing.

I feel the same pain and it hurts like hell, yet, the only thing I
wish for`right now is,That you never have to feel the same pain or be in that situation. ( I am relieved that You are well accomplished but life is so unpredictable). Whilst, You may wonder,that I only know this person for a short time, how can he be truly infatuated with me ?
Let me tell you something, it is neither the divine eyes nor the
Lightning smile, ( I made a wrong decision almost six years ago out of pity and ever since I never touched my painting brush or written a sonnet or even listened to the music.) but every time I see you I remember all those beautiful things. ( So this is not not some teen-age boy's calf-love ).

Don't worry I am not trying to ask you out ( in fact I am never going
To ask you out again, Because I have done my best - so when you like me, you ask me out!)

But I know how stressful your job could become - so I don't want to
Distract you From your work unnecessarily - so I want you to do me a favour , either cut and paste This: " I don't like you and don't bother me again " ( and you will never ever hear from me again)

Or come and cuddle me say " I love you too". ( I know what you have
to put at stake if You ever choose to do this but I will top that for you and I will make sure that you will never ever regret making such decision )

So your turn - ??? ( Please answer - I didn't do anything wrong
except falling in love with you, therefore I deserve an answer )

With all my heart


I tried to be as nice as I could in turning him down. I never believed anything he said and did wonder what his motivation was. In fact I don't remember even kissing him. I was just lonely so hung out with him a couple of times. But I still felt guilty as hell. I guess once he starting asking me out even hanging out with him was wrong. So please be responsible, think about the other person, even a kiss can hurt.

Well said... I am happy that I found a person who think the same way as I do.
There you go again, Sudhakar? LOL! Chica, lovely and candid blog. Soldier on!
Fadereu, I didn't understand when u said "There u go again, Sudhakar".
Thanks Fadereu. Sudhakar, always a pleasure to meet a like-minded person.
The pleasure is mine!!! If u find time feel free to visit my blog:
"even a kiss can hurt" - If u have seen "Pretty Woman" (Richard Gere & Julia Roberts) u wud have rephrased this sentence.
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